By Mel Bancroft

Back in the nineties, when dating websites were in their infancy, internet relationships were generally frowned upon. The stigma it carried seemed to label people who dated over the internet as incapable of getting a date, relying on the internet to do it for them. It was greatly associated with weirdoes and potential stalkers or perverts roaming the web to prey on unsuspecting internet users.

If a woman was asked how she met her new man, she might hear a sigh, or a gasp, followed by a disapproving look when she replied “On the internet.” Has that changed at all today? While people may have become more comfortable with internet dating using popular sites such as Eharmony.com and Match.com, there’s still skepticism about its efficacy. Do internet relationships last, and who’s really benefiting from internet dating?

“People who’re not serious, playing games” said Tonya, an attorney and writer. “In my experience, they’re the ones who are taking over internet dating.” After trying it out for the first time in the late nineties, she found an internet relationship difficult to come by. She ended up with two undesirable experiences.

Her first internet relationship involved a man who, after months of dating her, was involved with other women who were calling her at work. Although reluctant, she agreed to meet another guy who said he didn’t have a recent photo to send her. “When I met him, the only part of his description of himself that was accurate was that he was tall. He left out his sloppy looking rolls of fat, his wrinkled up, slouchy clothes, and his man breasts. After that, I gave up internet relationships.”

The typical complaints most people have in common about developing internet relationships are: profiles are totally fabricated; people inaccurately characterize themselves; and some users lie about being married or in a relationship. These experiences are never advertised and can cause people to lose faith when all they see are “success stories” on television. There are people who have been dating for years via the internet wondering when they’re going to have a success story of their own.

Tara, an academic advisor, and her husband, Robert, an assistant professor, have a story that can definitely be called a “success.” They met in 1998 and were married a year later. Although they actually met through voicemail, they have insightful viewpoints about the process of electronic dating—whether it’s through voicemail or internet relationships.

Tara had her own rules for meeting someone for the first time. “Keep it casual, meet in a public place during daylight hours, and give a couple of friends detailed information about your date and where you plan to meet,” she explained. Tara and Robert’s first date started off casual when they met at the pier in Santa Monica, Calif. The date was extended to dinner, a movie, a stroll along the boardwalk, lots of conversation, and several kisses at the end of the night. A total of thirteen hours spent together. Now husband and wife, they have a child, Michael, who is four-years-old.

Robert pointed out that internet relationships have changed a great deal since he and Tara met. “When anything is mass produced it changes the way people communicate. A homeless person can create a profile on a dating site because it’s more accessible now. If I were someone in the dating market right now, I wouldn’t want to date online. I’d much rather see a woman’s face and her smile for the first time, in person.”

Lee Greene, a transportation manager, has had some fleeting and strange encounters in his internet dating experience, such as a woman who wanted to pay for him to visit her in another state because he looked like her ex-husband. But he managed to have an eight-month courtship with a woman he met through the internet. “We were developing a meaningful relationship, but we were in two different places. She was more established and I still needed to get myself together. But it was an ego booster to have an attractive woman help me realize the areas of my life that I needed to work on—a woman who was genuinely interested in me." The positivity alone made the experience a “success story” for him.

So does the method in which we date have a bearing on the quality of our relationships? Aren’t we the ones who determine whether relationships last, on or off the internet? The internet is just a microcosm of society as a whole. Internet relationships are only as good as who we are outside of the internet. The desire to have a positive dating experience should be the motivating force.

Expecting specific outcomes seem to increase one’s chances of becoming highly disappointed and frustrated. The internet is simply a tool which makes dating more convenient. Unfortunately, some people use it to deceive other people. Anyone looking for true love through internet relationships should focus on being what they are looking for while proceeding with caution and keen observation.

About the Author: Mel Bancroft is a writer for ; Regal Black Mens Magazine The publication focuses on ; African American Community News Politics Sports Health Visit to read about ; internet relationships

Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=416482&ca=Relationships

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By CD Mohatta

When we are in love the world looks different. Everything looks good. We look at the world differently then those who are not in love. We love everything. The flowers smell better, the food tastes better, and the nature looks benevolent. How about our body? What kind of changes does love bring in our body?

The hearty is considered center of love. Every poet who has written on love talks of heart. I do not know if heart has anything to do with love- at least no medical professional will agree to that. For them the heart is only a pumping machine for blood. But for lovers heart becomes the center.

If you are in love, have you observed your heart beats? Do they not increase when you think of your lover? Does your heart not beat much faster when you are waiting to meet them? How about the heart beats when you are with them. The heart seems to beat much faster at that time, isn’t it? That is why poets write so much about heart.

That is why all Valentine decorations are heart shaped. the heart goes berserk when you are in love. It is as if it has forgotten about its pumping function and got busier expressing love. A look at the picture of your lover makes the heart beat faster. A touch, smell of their body, their voice, all can accelerate the heart. I do not know if any body has done any research about why heart behaves like this. Do emotions come from heart? Must be so otherwise whythe heart acts funny when we are in love?

Our walks become slower, we begin speaking in low voice, begin listening to slow love tunes, we begin caring more about our appearance and we become gentle with everyone around us. Why all this- because we are in love. Truly, being in love is a great feeling.

What are The signs of romantic love?

All of us talk of love. Most of us have heard of romantic love. Few of us have felt romantic love. I say few because everyone does not fall in deep romantic love. For many of us it is simple relationship that goes little beyond friendship. But in romantic love the relationship is totally different. Such love gives great pleasure and immense pain after break-up. The pain may at times be so much that one may regret ever falling in romantic love. How it feels when we are in deep romantic love?

We find everything about our partner romantic. Their talk, their walk, their smile and their laugh everything sounds good to us. We try of various ways to please our partner. We go to a great extent to fulfill their desires and make them happy. This is a big motivator. Many people have achieved great heights in their life because they wanted to do something for their partner. That is why it said that behind every successful man there is a woman. We feel highly confident and self-assured when we are in romantic love. It is considered an achievement. We feel that we have done something great. We lose sense of reality. We live in a dream world most of the times. Our thoughts are always centered on our partner. This can be very dangerous in some cases. After the love disappears, it becomes very difficult to adjust with life again. We become adventurous. Our mind finds way to be with our partner despite major obstacles. Our moral values may also change at times. Our body undergoes hormonal changes. Our reproductive hormones increase and we are most of the times in a state of excitement. We feel that we are one with our partner in all the ways. We become dependent upon them for getting pleasure and our earlier hobbies undergo change. This causes great ache after break- up.

About the Author: The author writes text messages and advises for internet and social networking content like myspace graphics and myspace comments. He also writes quizzes on subjects like personality, etc.

Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=413926&ca=Relationships

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By Tom Healy

When buying essential baby products, you have to consider convenience as well as choice. It is too late to start thinking about such things when the ambulance arrives at the door, or when your partner is trying to fit you into the car while you are convulsing with contractions.

You want to enjoy this very exciting time in your life, and not be worrying about whether you have the baby carriage delivered yet or the cot all set up for new arrival when you proudly bring her or him home. It should all have been arranged already, and an online baby mall is the ideal way to get this done.

Advance preparation is essential when buying baby products and many women start their plans as soon as they get the positive result from their doctor. The first step is to let all your friends and relatives know so that they get used to the idea, especially mom and dad. I say ‘especially’ because they will likely be part of your plans.

Once you have worked out everything you need, including the baby carriage, stroller, crib bedding, layette and everything else needed for a new baby, including bottle, sterilizer, formula etc., you should write it all down. As the months go by you will add to that list, and then deduct from it as your friends and family either give you stuff, or tell you what they are buying for your baby shower. It is that which will allow you to finalize your shopping list.

That is when you have to either visit baby shops or simple log on to an online baby mall. An online baby mall holds several advantages over a shopping mall, such as:

1. You can shop from the comfort of your sofa. That is a great comfort for a new mother with a baby to look after, or even a mother-to-be with only a month or so to go.

2. You have a full range of products at your fingertips and you can compare them online – along with their prices that could also be important.

3. You get a lot of information about the products you are buying and also safety information that isn’t always easy to get from mall baby store.

4. You can pay online and arrange delivery online. In fact you can go through the whole process of selecting your product, paying for it and arranging delivery while you are resting on your sofa watching’ Friends’.

However, there is more to preparing for your new baby than just buying a stroller or baby buggy. If you have a separate nursery room set aside for your new bundle of joy, you have to decorate it and furnish it with items such as drawer cabinets to hold the little ones new clothes, room decorations, toys – what child ever grew up without a teddy? Then there are the mundane items such as bottle sterilizers, diapers and all the creams and lotions that tots seem to need during and after bath time. An online baby mall can offer all of these.

Personalized gifts are another item that many grandparents and friends think of at this time. They are given in love, and parents cherish them. The keep such personalized baby gifts in their lounge display cabinets along with their children’s first shoes, swimming medals, school diplomas and every other milestone that mars their children’s lives. Personalized gifts are not something that you can plan to give, but you can plan to receive them and where to keep and cherish them.

Yet there is a massive number of things to consider when you first find that you are to have a baby, and none of the above will likely be among your initial priorities. However, they have to be considered eventually, and it is therefore all the better that you can turn to a one-stop-shop in the form of an online baby mall that can offer you everything you need on the one website.

The last thing you want to do when waiting for your child to be born, or even immediately after he or she has been born, is to hunt around the shops looking for everything you need to look after your baby properly. An online baby mall is the ideal answer and you can browse through it, choose what you want, make payment and arrange delivery without having to get onto your feet, let alone squeeze into and drive the car and the slog around a shopping mall until you find what you want.

Buying essential baby products from an online baby mall is far easier, and less tiring on you and baby. Incidentally, it’s also cheaper!

About the Author: If you want to use the convenience of an online baby mall to save you trudging round the shops, then visit Bonny Baby Mall where you will find not only a large range of baby products, but also comprehensive safety information

Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=415050&ca=Parenting

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By Ruth Edensor

Easing your young child out of your care and into school can be stressful and emotional for parents and children alike and end in crying and clingy childish behavior, (mostly from the children, although I did shed a tear when mine started). As parents we would all really like to see our children walk into their new environment with some confidence and eagerness to make friends and learn new things. Here are five tried and tested tips to help.

1. Be prepared;

It is really important to get to know what is expected of you and your child before they start school, so that you don’t tell your child one thing and the school says another. You will be invited to a school visit whether as a group at the start of the term or individually if starting in the middle of the term. It is usually possible for your child to have previously made a few friends before they start, which can help children settle in quicker.

2. Be in a good routine;

To make sure that your child’s body clock is ready for the school run, it’s always a good idea to start adjusting to the same time frame as school some days before they start school. Having tired and grumpy children obviously will not help and children who are rushing out of the house in the morning and dropped off in a hurry often get anxious and irritable because they don’t have enough time to adjust.

3. Stay Positive;

It is important to stay positive as we saw in the above example. Even if you feel miserable (or over joyed) about your children starting school, try not to let it show. Children need to feel that you are happy about them going off to school or being away from you so that they don’t worry about you or feel that they are missing out on some other fun.

4. Tell them what you want them to do;

Letting children know how you want them to behavior in a positive way is really helpful, such as “Sharing the toys” rather than what you don’t want such as, “Don’t go fighting and don’t be naughty”, Explaining as much as you think they will understand helps them to be well prepared.

5. The goodbye routine;

Having a set goodbye routine is so useful because you know what you are doing and can stay calm and assertive and your child will soon get to know what is expected of them and settle much quicker. Here are some tips;

• Arrive on time, or a few minutes early if allowed. This will give you time to help your child to hang up their coat and put their belongings away in a calm manor. Or if they have to line up outside they can meet the other children in the playground which can be a good distraction.

• Follow the settings routine, some schools will allow you to stay for a few minutes and encourage the children to start to play. Others will want all the children to go and sit together for the register, or line up outside and come in as a class.

• Say good bye, when leaving your child, so that they don’t loose trust in you if you sneak off. It will depend on the class routine as to how you leave and if you are concerned talk to the teacher in private away from your child about how to go about things.

• Stay Positive Your child will look to you for assurance that they will be OK so a few reassuring words such as, you will be OK, mummy will be back for you soon, your friends are waiting to play, or go and paint daddy a picture and I will come back for it, (although not all at the same time) will all help them to get in a positive mindset. Don’t be tempted to shame them into going in happily and say things like, oh don’t be a baby, look Sammy’s not crying, don’t be silly or anything else negative because this will make them feel negative and knock their confidence.

• Set the boundaries as children don’t know them and you will put your child at ease if they know them, so be careful not to accidentally reward crying and clingy behaviour by staying as this will prolong the agony and children quickly realise that if they make a fuss mummy or daddy will stay a little longer.

• Pass your child to the teacher. If your child is starting to cry and cling to you, ask the teacher to take them from you. This is when your positive approach will really help your child to calm down. A receptive teacher will hold their hand or won’t mind you handing them over and offer some encouragement. As you find that they start to settle in the morning you can encourage them to sit or play with a friend or line up with the others.

• Give them praise for their efforts. When you pick your child up again from school, it is really encouraging to give them some praise for their efforts from going into school, even if they cried a little. Find something that they did well, such as ‘you were very good putting your bag on your peg this morning’, and pay little attention to their crying. This way they will feel pleased with themselves and want to repeat good behaviour.

Hope this helps best of luck to all little ones starting school soon and their moms and dads!!

About the Author: A Child Behaviour Consultant with 30 years of experience of working with children and a psychology degree. Author of A Parents Guide to Children’s Behaviour is a link A Parents Guide to Children’s Behaviour This text is a link to child behaviour Direct

Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=412724&ca=Parenting

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By Catherine Sheehan

Somewhere along the way we all came to accept the fact that if we got pregnant, gained a little weight, or even lost weight, we’d be forever branded with stretch marks. Our moms had to deal with them. Our grandmothers did, too. (If your grandmother was the open and honest type, she may have even shared that with you at some point.) What all of us have in common is that we often feel powerless to do anything about them. And since stretch marks aren’t painful and don’t pose a medical threat, they’re not a big deal and we should just try to forget about them…right?

If stretch marks keep you from wearing a bathing suit or from slipping on your favorite shorts – if they just make you hesitant to look in a full-length mirror – they are a big deal. And that doesn’t just go for women – men suffer from stretch marks too. In fact, stretch marks affect about 40% of young men (probably not something your dad or grandfather shared with you, no matter how open or honest they were). 70% of adolescent girls and nearly 90% of pregnant women will get stretch marks.

So what exactly are these seemingly inescapable marks that afflict so many of us? Stretch marks first appear as streaks of thinned, glossy skin that are usually red or purple. Over time they become depressed and scar, leaving once-smooth skin rippled with streaks of white lines.

Usually we associate stretch marks with pregnancy, when women have both stretching skin and changing hormones working against them. But they can appear whenever your skin gets stretched, like when you gain weight or go through a growth spurt. Young athletes can stretch their skin by doing sports like weightlifting that rapidly alter their bodies. No matter what the cause, rapidly expanding skin is eventually stretched to its limit, and that’s when little tears appear in the supporting layers of skin known as the dermis. And those little tears become stretch marks.

Stretch marks can have a big impact on how we feel about our bodies. And given the choice, a lot us would do something about them. So what’s standing in our way? Until recently, “doing something” about stretch marks meant two things: over-the-counter treatments or surgery. The good thing about over-the-counter treatments to improve the appearance of stretch marks? There are plenty to choose from. What’s the downside? None have been medically proven to actually work. Surgical options, like tummy tucks, do work. But they’re invasive and require a lot of recovery time – which leaves a lot of people wishing for a better way.

Well, you can stop wishing, because a better solution is finally here. The Fraxel laser is the most effective stretch mark treatment you’ll find today. Fraxel sends “micro-treatments” beneath the surface of your skin to stimulate collagen and elastin synthesis – literally resurfacing your skin. Patients usually undergo a series of Fraxel treatments, which only last about 20-25 minutes each. And for those patients with red stretch marks there’s the VBEAM laser, which treats the redness and can be safely used right along with Fraxel.

When patients are done they see improvement in the texture, diameter, and depth of their stretchmarks – and you can too. Worried about downtime? Don’t be. You can get back to your day right after your treatment, and the redness you’ll notice goes away in a few days.

So that’s it, right?

Not quite. We’ve saved the best for last. And hopefully you’ve got your sci-fi hat on, because this treatment sounds like it’s from a Jetsons future – but it’s real, and available now. It’s called Portrait Plasma Resurfacing. It’s not a laser or light-based treatment, but instead works by delivering rapid pulses of nitrogen-based plasma to your skin’s surface. What’s remarkable is that the plasma never touches your skin – it simply transfers its energy without any direct contact. The plasma stimulates your body to actually regenerate damaged structural elements of your skin – something no other treatment in the world can do. Best of all, after a series of treatments your skin will keep getting better over time, and you’ll continue to see improvements as much as a year later. You’ll literally watch your skin de-age. All it takes are Portrait Plasma Resurfacing treatments that last no more than 20-30 minutes – no bandages or downtime.

Stretch marks may be one of the oldest problems in the book. But now you can fight them with the most cutting-edge technology out there. Your grandmother would be impressed.

About the Author: Catherine Sheehan writes articles about health and beauty for Reflections Center. http://www.reflectionscenter.com

Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=380066&ca=Womens+Interest

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